Jet Lag Diaries - Angry in Kigali
Jet Lag Diaries - October 16, 2019
I met an Italian man in the hotel lobby the other day who asked what I was doing in Rwanda.
He then proceeded to tell me all the reasons I should NOT be teaching self-defense:
- It’s a safe country for women and girls.
- There is no need for it.
- You are disturbing the power structure in the family.
- You are making things less safe for the girls you’re trying to help.
- You Americans and your angry feminist agenda...
I got out of that conversation as quickly as possible because this man who was not letting me get a word in edgewise was not going to be persuaded by anything that I could say.
A few minutes later I traveled to a primary school where 7th and 8th grade girls asked me the most horrifically heartbreaking questions:
- What should I do when the bad guy has my hands tied behind my back?
- What should I do when the bad guy ties my hands and feet in front of me, and ties a gag around my mouth?
- What should I do when the bad guy attacks me from behind?
- What should I do when he rapes me and my family doesn’t believe me?
Let that sink in for a second.
These little girls asked what to do WHEN it happens to them... not if.
These questions reminded me about the girl who changed everything for SheHopes.
This is happening to our baby sisters all around the world, and we can’t just stand there averting our eyes and shutting our ears to their silent and not-so-silent cries. It’s like our amazing friend Shana Chivon Stephens says, “You can’t unring a bell once it has been rung.” Their questions are like that bell - and I can’t go back to going about my life quite like I did before I met those precious girls.
OF COURSE we disrupt the power structure by telling women and girls that they are valuable, they are seen, and their bodies are their own. Any power structure where little girls have to worry about being gang-raped on the way to school doesn’t just need to be disrupted…IT NEEDS TO BE BROKEN.
When we travel to a community or talk about the work of SheHopes, we are often met with initial concern by men in the area - but once they see that we’re not teaching girls to become “man haters,” and that we’re actually teaching valuable ways to ESCAPE from danger, their response becomes I wish my daughter was here to learn this. I wish my sister could have learned this when she was younger. I wish you could come to my house and teach my wife.
That’s one of the ways I know we’re on the right track - when even the men are supportive of what we do.
Learning self-defense isn’t an act of violence - it’s a life skill.
Why do we teach self-defense?
- Because 1 out of every 3 women and girls around the world has been the victim of violence
- Because even one girl or one woman is too many
- Because women and girls around the world already couldn’t be less safe
- Because we’re not teaching girls to go into danger - We’re teaching them how to ESCAPE from danger
- Because we’re teaching women and girls that they are a PERSON, not a possession - and their body is their own
- Because of these girls, their questions, and the nightmare waiting for them when they get home from school
- Because we’re working for a world that no longer needs SheHopes.
Do I sound angry enough for you? GOOD. If you had met those little girls, you would be angry too.
THAT is why we teach self-defense. That is why we empower women and girls around the world. ❤️🌍💪🏽
We believe in a world where little girls can walk to school without fear of being attacked.
We believe in a world where women can learn job skills so they can provide for themselves and their families.
We believe in a world where our little sisters can stay in school and not fall behind because of their periods.
We believe in a world where each woman and girl is the leading lady and hero of her own story.
We believe that even the smallest act of kindness can make a big difference.
We believe in a world that will one day no longer need SheHopes.
We are incredibly grateful for our SheHopes community - and you can join them today! Learn more how YOU can give HOPE and transform someone’s future today!